Humor
"My lesbianism is an act of Christian charity. All those
women out there praying for a man, and I'm giving them my share."
Rita Mae
Brown
"If homosexuality is a disease, let's all call in queer to
work: "Hello. Can't work today, still queer."
Robin Tyler
I'd rather be black than gay because when you're black you
don't have to tell your mother."
Charles Pierce
In response to a reader who complained that a gay
couple was moving in across the street and wanted to know what he could do to
improve the quality of the neighborhood. "You could move."
Abigail Van
Buren
"The one bonus of not lifting the ban on gays in the
military is that the next time the government mandates a draft, we can all
declare we are homosexual instead of running off to Canada."
Lorne Bloch
"Soldiers who are not afraid of guns, bombs, capture,
torture or death say they are afraid of homosexuals. Clearly we should not be
used as soldiers; we should be used as weapons."
Letter to the Editor, The Advocate
"You don't have to be straight to be in the military; you
just have to be able to shoot straight."
Barry Goldwater
"Why is it that, as a culture, we are more comfortable
seeing two men holding guns than holding hands?"
Ernest Gaines
"My own belief is that there is hardly anyone whose sexual
life, if it were broadcast, would not fill the world at large with surprise and
horror."
W. Somerset Maugham
"Drag is when a man wears everything a lesbian won't."
Author Unknown
"If male homosexuals are called 'gay,' then female
homosexuals should be called 'ecstatic'."
Shelly Roberts
"My mother took me to a psychiatrist when I was fifteen
because she thought I was a latent homosexual. There was nothing latent about
it."
Amanda Bearse
It always seemed to me a bit pointless to disapprove of
homosexuality. It's like disapproving of rain.....
Francis Maude
"The only queer people are those who don't love
anybody....."
Rita Mae Brown
"The Bible contains six admonishments to homosexuals and
362 admonishments to heterosexuals. That doesn't mean that God doesn't love
heterosexuals. It's just that they need more supervision."
Lynn Lavner
"I think that gay marriage is something that should be
between a man and a woman."
Arnold Schwarzenegger, California Governor
"If the president is truly concerned about preserving the
sanctity of marriage. . . why not make divorce illegal and stone adulterers?"
Maureen Dowd